ARBUSTO, TX, May 11 - Hearkening back to a theme he used running in his first presidential campaign, President George W. Bush spoke today to the Austrian Economics Society of Central Texas about Social Security funding, saying we need a “New Math for a New Majority.” The president shared the stage as a guest of honor with fellow Republican and native Austrian, California Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger, who received a special honor from the group for “applying economic policies against popular will, and in the face of adversity.”
While the president was vague about exactly what his “New Math” entailed, he stayed on message with the mantra “math has changed,” and seemed eagar to gather ideas from the audience about how to gain a new majority for his Social Security plans using math. The audience responded to the challenge, peppering the president with questions after his brief speech.
Q. “Mr. President, to get back to the basics of your Social Security plan, in round numbers, does 100 minus 15 equal 85?”
A. “No. 115. That’s what they tell me. 115 it is.”
Q. “President Bush, how does your administration approach division in regards to Social Security?”
A. “We’re divided in our diversions, we divide the older people from the younger by generating the numbers. We divide, but we’re united. We’re united in our diversion of what America is to us. After we divide, we unite. We unite behind the generating. That’s what they call policy - and it’s a good one, two for us all.”
Q. “President Bush, I really want to thank you for taking the time to speak with us here today. I wonder if you could answer, what has happened with subtraction?”
A. “Cut. We had to cut it. The budget - we found it difficult to pay for - and it didn’t meet criterion, our criterion of targets and goals that we wanted to achieve. There was an achievement gap - and with the gap had to come the cuts to succeed. No subtraction.”
Q. “How will your policies, Mr. President, affect logarythms?”
A. “I have to admit we weren’t expecting that one. It’s a real curve thrown at me - you know. Haven’t seen one that close since I left the Texas Rangers. [Laughter] But I’ll answer it. We take no position, we’re repositionable on dance and music - so long as it’s clean and decent. You know, good fun - we’re all for a good, fun time - but it’s got to be clean. But, you know, as much as I like dancing, we’re here, here we’re going to stay tracking, get on track - staying on point.”
Q. “President Bush, your view on decimals?”
A. “Stay on point.”
While many of the economists gathered applauded the president for tacking difficult issues with grace, a number were skeptical his plan would work. The end of the session found many of those attending scribbling down notes and working out proofs with their former colleague, Harvey S. Rosen, the Bush-appointed Chairman of the Council of Economic Advisers. Said one attendee, “President Bush surely left us with a lot to think about. He may be the first president to attempt in such broad strokes to redefine mathematics as it’s practiced today.” Another added, “I’ve gone to many math conferences over the years - the ideas presented today may be the most challenging I’ve encountered yet. And all this coming from a ‘C’ student. Simply amazing!”
Post a Comment